Divorce

Divorce – How to rebuild your life, get new clothes and feel good

Okay, so you have just gone through one of the most painful times of your life, what do you do now? Well the grieving is over. You need to get out of your gloom and move on. You have been given an opportunity to rebuild your life. You have found yourself suddenly single, but you don’t realize just how much you have. You may see your life as shattered, but you should look at it as a clean slate. You need to get back in with the crowd and mingle like you never skipped a beat.

The first step to getting over a divorce is to make subtle changes. The first thing that a woman will change about her is her hair. Hair is special to women. When you feel like you have gone through a change, you feel the need to change your hair because it represents whom you are. Then you should head straight to the mall and purchase some outfits. You are no longer married, and nor should you look like it. You can wear the tighter shirts and the shorter skirts. You do not have to go from conventional to streetwalker, but if you spice up your wardrobe you will feel better about yourself. When you wear things that are beautiful, you will feel beautiful. You will feel so much about the way that you look.

You should wear colors that you normally would not wear. You should purchase things that seem out of your style just to find yourself. Maybe you already know who you are, and that’s great. You didn’t allow yourself to be dragged down by the divorce. However, you maybe a little confused. You may not know exactly what you want from life and for your future. That is okay to be a little confused about things. However, if you go out and you purchase something that your mate would not have liked, you will suddenly feel better about yourself.

Go to the mall and purchase a fancy dress and go to a place that you wouldn’t normally go with your ex. It may be the opera, a play, dinner, and so on. You will be able to experience something new or do something that you love and you will look good too. Being single is not that bad. You can be whomever you want and wear whatever you want. You have so much freedom. You should take advantage of purchasing clothes without having to have a talk with your partner. Your money is now your money to do whatever you would like.

Regardless of age, if you begin to date sooner than later you will be able to get over the divorce quickly. You don’t need the emphasis on commitment or even sex. All you need is to get back in the game. Go out to dinner. This way you aren’t at home mopping and you may even find someone who is fun to be with and that will show you how to love again. You do not need to have an expectation about anyone, but you never know where Mr. Right maybe. You should never rush into a committed relationship right after you have gone through a divorce. If you do, them you may be setting yourself up for more pain, however if you just purchase an outfit and have a casual night on the town, you will find that moving is a lot easier than you thought it would be.

So get up, put on that new sundress and have a great day enjoying life. With subtle changes of style, love, laugher, and fun can be just around the corner.

Divorce, rebuild your life, get a new pet

So what happens to the pets when it comes to the divorce? Some care so much about their animals that it could be devastating when the lawyers speak of them like property. The value of the pets that we place in our hearts can sometimes be hard when it comes to being apart. If you are in the battle of your lifetime and your mate wants to fight dirty, they can go for custody of the pets.

They use the pets like leverage, much like children. The key to making out like a bandit in a divorce is to found what one person wants and then act like you need it or want it more. Usually the courts will give pets to the one who is more passionate or emotionally attached, which can be easily faked. Ex’s go for the pets because they want to hurt you as much as possible. If you have any children or pets in a marriage you are more than likely to have an ugly divorce.

Like the children, the courts will ask themselves what is best for the pet. If your spouse gets the home and the yard, more likely they’ll get the dog. If the pet only knows that one home, they are more likely to get the pet because they have an emotional attachment to their secured home. However, some judges will go on the fact of who had the dog first. If you gave it to your girlfriend and then over the years became attached it, the attachment doesn’t matter. Sometimes they look at pets like property. Who has the right it property? Well, the answer is, the one who owns it. They will not share the pet. This is because it’s actually unhealthy for the dog. The dog will become confused easily and they won’t have their security and may develop some emotional or aggressive behaviors.

Most of the time, the wife got the kids, the house, and the pets. This is because they feel that the children need the house as security and the family pet needs the children for security as well, so they all go together. This is one issue that has been addressed over the years, and the father has gotten all three.

If the judge can’t think about the pet’s interest, maybe you or your spouse should start acting properly in the divorce and instead of trying to get it all, give up the things you really don’t want. If you don’t like the dog, don’t take the dog. If you don’t the cat, don’t ask for it. Don’t fight over something that is just going to hurt you both in the long run.

However, there are people who lose their pet and need to rebuild their life with a new one. There is always going to be hurt feelings about losing the original pet, but getting another one will help you deal with the loss, it won’t replace the animal, but it will allow you to begin the process of moving on and letting go. You may need some time to think things over.

It’s hard to replace a pet that you were so close to. It’s like losing a child or best friend. However, if you get another pet, not just another dog or cat, but any type of pet that will comfort you and be there for you then the divorce will be a lot easier to cope with. If you are thinking about a new pet, you should go to the shelters. They have animals that have been rejected and hurt and they will bond with you. You are more likely to bond with them because you can understand their situation. You may find that a pet from the shelter will be exactly what you need.

Divorce, finding that new special friend and moving on

Do you find yourself divorced and dating again? It’s so hard to find someone special enough to make a move. It’s hard enough to even accept your first date let alone start a new life with someone special. Dating is a game that can involve good times and bad times. The thing about love is that you have a risk and everyone has a risk. The excitement is what we live for. It is what we need in our lives.

If you have been out of the game for a long time, you may feel a little out of place. You are now in new situations with new people. Dating is hard and it gets harder the older we get. Why? Because we tend to be on the defense rather than the offense when it comes to dating in our older years. Before you get to the dating, you have to stop and think about a few things. You have to seriously think about what you are looking for and why.

The first thing that you need to do is just your priorities straight. Do you just want to meet new people, do you want to be friends, or this a relationship that you seek? Don’t allow anyone to tell you what you should do. You can be in your 60′s and seek love; you can be any age and want to seek love. You should never let another person tell you what you want. You need to know what you want first so that you don’t mislead anyone or get mixed messages. This is the way that you can date smart. Dating smart means that you both of the same objections and are perfectly matched in goals.

The next thing is to be open-minded. You have forgotten what it is like to be in love. You can make crazy mistakes in the name of love. Don’t allow yourself to get too far off the ground. You don’t your heart to break so early in the game. The first date is always the worst. If he calls back, great, and if they don’t then it’s okay because you have another date. Don’t tie yourself down. Play the field to find out what exactly you are looking for. This will let you to pick someone because you want to not because you are settling.

When it comes to meeting someone new be open to the channels of love. Let your family and friends help you get back in the game by doing some blind dating or speed dating. You will want to ask some of your friends to help you find someone and you should ask your family the same thing. The only thing about blind dates is that you want to make sure that your supported. Don’t allow someone to say that your too old or blind dates are ridiculous. We all have had a blind date and one or two turned out to be a meaningful relationship.

You can answer a personal ad online or in the newspaper. The only thing that you have to worry about this kind of blind date is that it is done in a public place. You want to make sure that you are safely going to meet someone. Don’t allow them to know your full name or where you live until after a few dates and you thing that it’s someone that you would like to meet.

When you have allowed yourself to meet that special someone, you will find that your life will pick up where it seemed to fall apart and you may have your happy ever after. The only thing about ever ‘afters’ is that they normally don’t find you, you have to find them.

Divorce, find out about keeping the house

When comes to keeping the house, you have to be realistic. Can you really buy them out, can you afford the payments of the house? It’s completely unreal. You should also think about who will get the children. If you don’t want the children to be with you completely, then don’t expect to get the house, because the house usually goes where the children are. You shouldn’t ask for custody because of the house. Children are not leverage in a case.

They should not be used so you can get whatever it is that you want. One of the biggest reasons why someone will sell the house during the divorce is because neither one of them can make the payments alone. If one of you can, you can take advantage and buy out their half or you can sell for your advantage again. If you want the house, ask the other to move out right away. This way you will have a better chance of getting the house, as well as, the other party losing the house since they forfeited over to you. The one who moves out will be seen as very generous person who just gave the other the house. Ask for a removal. This will allow you to have temporary absence, but remember they can also file for a temporary stay in the house, after the other has left. You should have a plan if you lose the house.

You’re not guaranteed the house; so don’t act like you are. But if you run your business from the house or within the house, you will get the house most likely just because it would be an inconvenience that is unnecessary. It will prove that you have more value towards the home.

You want to make sure that you never leave the house or it will leave your possession. You will want to consult your lawyer on other tips on how to keep the house. You will want to make sure that you don’t suffer financially just to keep the home. Some of the things that you will need to keep in mind is who will fix the things around the house. Do you have the ability to pay for the pairs or can you do them yourself?

If you do get possession of the home, you should change the locks. This way you can’t have them entering the premise without your permission. You will want to change the locks as soon as they move out. This way they can’t harm you during the proceedings. You may even want to install an alarm so that you know that no one can open a window and get in. If you feel that your life is in danger, don’t fight over the house. However, as a mother or parent you have the right to protect your children and want to stay in the house. When it comes to disputes that include property, you have to ask yourself if it is worth it and why you are pushing the issue.

To get the house, you will want to think about going through medication. You may find that you will have to give up more things for the house, but you have to wage the house against the other possessions. Usually, if you get the house than you get practically nothing else. You may get child support and alimony, but you don’t get any of the other possessions in most cases.

When it comes to divorce proceedings, make sure that you don’t have anything to hide. If you do, have a backup plan so that you can clear your name and the courts may be more likely to give you the house. You will want to think about the children as well when it comes to the custody of the house.

How to rebuild your life, find an attorney

How to find that right lawyer to handle your divorce can be difficult. There are many factors that you will want to look at. Once you have gotten over the pain and hurt, you need to consult a lawyer to advise you on what’s fair. Some lawyers will try to go for all they can, but if you want to have a civilized divorce (if one is possible) you will want to go after only what is fair. There is a lot of stress that divorce can bring, but if you find the right attorney you will find that you won’t have to deal with so much. You need a lawyer that will ease your stress levels.

One thing that you need to look at when choosing an attorney is the fee. Is it going to cost you an arm and a leg? If so, then you may just be adding more stress ontop of things. Lawyers will let you know what they costs will be, and that will depend on the difficulty of the divorce. If you don’t have anyone contesting a marriage then you may just want to hire the same lawyer and get things over with. If you want to have a sensible divorce, you don’t want to go with the high paid lawyers. They will go for all they can so that they can get a better fee. You need to be as open and honest as possible when you first meet with the lawyer. This way you can have a good idea of what to look forward to.

You should also take their expertise in consideration too. If they have a good track record, you should hire them if you want to have a blood battle or get as much as possible. However, you can hire a lawyer outside of the divorce field. But if you get an experienced lawyer, they know the judges and how they react to certain cases. They will use all of their knowledge for your advantage. The fee may be more important than expertise, but you should know that you get what you pay for.

You may also want to ask around. Your friends will know a few lawyers that will be good candidates. A good lawyer will not hide anything. They will let their clients know that they would like to be referred and they may even talk about past clients. This will convince you of how experienced and good they are so that you will hire them. Their testimony may mean nothing, but if you ask around you will be able to get a good idea of what they are really like. Some lawyers are known for being hard and so if that’s what you are looking for, then you should go with a lawyer that everyone speaks of.

You should also go with a lawyer that you like. It is important that you trust your lawyer. You need to be able to rely on them. You also need to know that their attitude goes along with yours. If you want a cutthroat lawyer, then make sure that have the personality to be, but if you just want to get it over with and be done than seek a lawyer who will go after what’s fair.

When it comes to picking your lawyer, you will want to make sure that you have one in mind that will do exactly what you want. You also want a lawyer who will have the time to deal with all the stress of the divorce so you can easily wash your hands of it all. You will want a lawyer that understands how you feel and knows what you want and how you would like to get it.

Divorce, find an apartment, and move on in life

Moving out and finding an apartment can be a good thing. It will start the divorce proceedings. However, if you have children, you do not want to move out. If you were to move out the other spouse may end up getting the children because the live in the home and it’s a stable environment. Also, they may be given the home just for the fact that there are children and you have already made arrangements to live elsewhere’s. However, if you move out you will have relief from the arguments and torture that many people take while trying to push a divorce through. If you would really like to keep the house, then you should stay until the judge has made his decision. At the temporary relief hearing, this is when you can make your plea to come back or make the other move out.
When you do move out and find an apartment you can look for apartments that are for those who are going through a divorce. They are usually very cheap and most people will keep to themselves. If you do move out and without the children than you should see them as much as you possible can arrange so that the judge will allow you to keep your visits. You may want to purchase an apartment that has plenty of room for the children and you may want to set up with rooms so that when they come to your place they can be entertained and comfortable.
When you move you, take everything that you would like with you. You should take any personal things like your clothes and jewelry. You should also inventory everything that you take so that it can’t come back as stealing. If you take it out right away, the law will see it as yours. Depending on what it is and the value of it (money or personal) you may be able to keep it or you may have to be ordered to give it back. But, if you would like it, please take it with you, because you never know what they may do to your things. Also, don’t be greedy; leave most of the furniture, unless it was in your den or private area. You should never clean the house out, regardless of who owned what. It will look bad in court, plus you don’t want the children to be disrupted.
When you move out, don’t go to the girlfriend/boyfriend’s place. You want to show independence and it may be just what you need. If you cannot afford a place on your own, you should move in with a friend or family member. You should not’ move back to the parents because you never know what dirt the lawyer can dig up about your family when it comes to custody of the children. Also, make sure that this other person would have no personal interaction with you so they can’t say that you are dating each other. Moving in with a close friend or cousin will make the rent easier to be paid and you won’t be completely alone. You will have someone to stay with that will support you.
Once you are settled in your new place you can gradually begin to build a new life. Go out, meet new people, have fun. Just don’t do anything that would make you look bad if someone brought it up in court. This way you can move on with your life, but you don’t mess up a good beginning. If there aren’t children involved you may even want to move out of state if your family is located somewhere else. This way you can have family around you be able to move on.

Divorce, find a new job, and move on in life

There is a great life that lies head after divorce. You will be able to move on with your life. You can get up and move to a new place and start a completely new life. Some people will do just that. They will change jobs, they will refinance, and they will begin to date again. Just because the divorce is done and is final, this doesn’t mean that you have gone through all the steps. You still have to pick up the pieces and try to move on. It’s hard for many to move on because they have spent so much time with that person and it can be hard to break up someone who doesn’t want to. There are a lot of feelings that you will go through, however you will find that there is a lot of hope that lies in the bounds of the aftermath.

After the divorce you have refinanced and everything is done and over. You don’t have a mortgage, you may not have a car payment, you may not have anything to your name. This is a great opportunity to relocate. You don’t have to go to another state, but even another county would be a huge change for you. You will have to find a way to get back in the game.

The first step to rebuilding after moving is to find a new job. You may want to find a job that allows you to work more because now you don’t have to worry about sharing your time with your wife, or you may decide that you don’t need a high paying job anymore because you don’t the bills or family to support. You can adjust to your new living by going up or standing back from employment. You can purchase a new home and start there, or you can just not make any commitments and rent. Your like is completely up to you.

It may be a long way to come back once you have been knocked down by a divorce. You may have to start from nothing. You will have new views, new goals, a new life. You can leave everything behind or you can build yourself back up. Some people just find it easier to leave everything than truly deal with anything. It is a hassle to go through a divorce and the alimony can make you need to get another job. You will find that there are so many things in a divorce that can cause you to take up drinking, but then there are so many more things that you can do to make things better. You can make things better by going for an important job that you didn’t want to take because of your family. You have nothing holding you back. You can re-do everything your way. You don’t have to worry about pleasing anyone but yourself.

You are completely independent. That is one good thing about divorce. It can also be scary. If you feel like you can’t stand on your own, you can ease your way into being independent. You can move in with some friends, you can take a less demanding job, you can purchase a lease for an apartment, whether than purchase a home. You don’t have to make any commitments to anything. Once you feel like you can get back in the game you can begin to make commitments like buying a house, or asking someone on a date. It’s a slow progression back.

Once you have relocated you can spend your time like you wish and you can change anything in your life. You should try to be independent because you will make the progression back quickly. You can be okay sooner than later.

How to rebuild your life, find a new hobby

Moving on is very important when it comes to rebuilding your life after divorce. You will be out of it for a while, but you will find that you can rebuild yourself and learn from your mistakes. It is hard to part from someone who once was a part of who you where, but you will find that you can move on and find new things in your life to bring you joy and happiness. You can find a new hobby at your church, within your community, or within your home.

After you have allowed yourself to grieve, you will begin to want to find other things to fill your hours. If you are the type of person who like to be alone, you should find new things to learn that you can do by yourself. Take an art class at the local community college. Learn how to sculpt or do pottery. You can also learn how to write. You can write a story or article about your life to describe what you are going through. You may find that your hobby could turn into something that you can pursue as a career. You will be able to spend the hours productively than sitting in front of the TV eating ice cream.

Some women will take up a hobby that gets them back into interacting with others. You may want to join a local pool or bowling league. You may go to the community center and join a card game once a week. If you really want to get back into the interaction, you should take dance lessons. Learn how to ballroom or to do some jazz. Then you will be able to learn something and find something new to enjoy. You don’t have to go alone, you can take a brother or cousin or dear friend to be your partner. It will be something new to experience. If dancing doesn’t sound like a good hobby, you can take up a local job of something that you already know.

If you were really good at a sport, you may want to become an assistant coach or coach of a local high school team or college team. You can start up a new chapter of AYSO or some other thing. You can also do some community service to fill your hours. You can do things like feed the poor; raise money for your church or community, or other services that are needed.

Anything that you can shift your attention to will be a great thing. You will be able to let go of all the hurt and pain and focus on something positive. Even if you would like to increase your reading or do a 25,000-piece puzzle, do anything that will stimulate your mind and allow you to adjust your focus. When you find a hobby or something to focus your attention on you have less of a chance of focusing on the negative or starting bad habits like drinking or smoking. You will be able to find a positive release.

You can take many things, many classes, at local colleges that you can do with a friend. You can learn how to cook, paint, write, or anything else that will stimulate your creativity. Just remember that you need to find something that interests you and that is convenient. You can also find hobbies around the house too. You can go antiquing with a friend or you can remodel or redecorate the entire hours to your likening. Again, anything that will get you to focus on the positive outlooks on life.

Divorce – How to rebuild your life, don’t avoid the holidays

Divorce is something that no one wants to do; however in some cases it is inevitable. This is something that sometimes has to happen so that a person can be happen and feel good about whom they are so that they can start living again. It is important for the two people that are going through the divorce to stay active with friends and family members and to not let it get them down.

The first holiday after your divorce can be the worst. This can be the most uncomfortable situation that you could ever be in. There are some things that you can do to help the holiday go a little bit better and may even help it to be a little easier to deal with the fact that things are no longer the same and that you will have to accept that fact.

No matter what holiday it is, you are going to see that things are different. You will not be the same team that you always were in the past and now you have to find a way to move on and have a great holiday regardless of this fact. You will want to make the experience as easy as you can on everyone including your friends, family and children if you have any.

You may want to consider changing a few things for your next holiday after the divorce. You may have to come with the determination that traditions must change and that you can get through them. You may have to work out arrangements for the children if any and make sure that they are taken care of at this difficult time. You want them to have the best holiday that they can even if it means that you must sacrifice some things.

You may want to find something else to do for your traditions on the holidays. You want to make them fun and entertaining as well as enjoyable and less painful for you and anyone else that is involved in the family function. You also need to make sure that you are taking time out for yourself. You need to keep your thoughts good so that you can stay focused on making this first year the best that you can for everyone.

You want to make sure that you have your own down time. If you feel like being sad or crying, you should be able to do that alone. You may need a few minutes of each day to get yourself composed and feeling better about the entire situation. You need to make sure that your mind is free from any distress when it comes time for the family gathering.

You may want to use some humor for the situation. You need to find the fun side in everything and this will include holidays after your divorce. You need to find ways to laugh even if they are stupid and childish. You want to keep a positive attitude for not only yourself, but also anyone else that may be affected.

Another good idea is to look ahead. You want to stay focused on the future. Remember the first holiday is the worst and things will only get better as time passes and you are able to accept the way that things are a little better. In time you will feel more relaxed and you will not remember this first holiday that made you so upset.

Divorced Dad Beware Of The Alienator!

The Naive Alienator

Most divorced dads experience instances when they are Naive alienators. These divorced dads do mean well and they identify the children’s importance on having a good healthy relationship with them. They hardly ever come back to the court concerning problems with visitation or any other issues relating to the kids. The courts persuade the relationship of the kids and the divorced dad to be intact.

Both parents that communicate to each other is good usually, even though sometimes they do have arguments like they did before all the divorce proceedings took place. Arguing in front of the kids is a big no- no, it is better to leave the children out of it. For the most part, they can work out their differences without bringing the children into it.

Children do not like to hear their parents fighting and arguing, divorced parents or not. These kids may feel hurt if they see or hear their dad or mom argue over things. Sometimes, the kids tend to cope up with their parents arguing and fighting either by talking to one of them, be it the dad or mom; sometimes they ignore both parents and let the issue heal in time. By hearing and seeing what the parents are fighting about does not really affect the children of the naïve alienator.

The Active Alienator

Divorced dads that come back to the court to settle problems with their visitation rights are active alienators. These dads mean well and trust that the kids should gain a healthy relationship with their mother. Frustration is the common problem that they have, controlling the hurt they feel and the bitterness of what has happened.

There are instances that something might trigger the hurt that they feel inside, active alienators would strike or freak out in one way or another to cause alienation against the ex-wife. After calming down, the dad usually feels bad or he feels guilty about what he did and would refrain from their alienating strategy.

Hesitating between recklessly alienating and then after, fixing the damage with the kids is one of the well-known actions of the active alienator. They really do mean well, however, they will lose their cool because of the amount of force of their feelings inside overpowers them.

They do have the aptitude to obey and respect the authority of the trial courts and they do obey the court’s decision. Sometimes though, they tend to clash with the mother. They sometimes act this way in order to strike at the mother for some injustice. They are also willing to seek professional help when they have problems that do not seem to go away.

They are usually openly worried about the kids’ adjustment to having parents that are divorced. The divorced dad is thinking on how the children would adjust to two environments instead of just one. These people still hope for a fast recuperation from all the pain and hurt that the divorce has brought.

The Obsessed Alienator

The obsessed alienator has a cause: to win over the children’s sympathy in order for the divorced dad, along with the kids to demolish the kids’ relationship with their mother. In order for this to work, the obsessed alienator entangles the kids’ characteristics and faith into their own. This is a very long process; it may take a long time, usually after the divorce is final. This is because the divorced dad is angry or frustrated with the ex-wife and feels betrayed and wants to get back at her.

A Reminder

Recognize that those mentioned above are a reality. As a divorced dad, you not only have to protect your relationship with your kid but you have to safe guard you child’s emotional, mental and physical well being as well.